Equality in Relationships

Relationship abuse is very prevalent, but not every relationship is abusive. As well as looking at unhealthy behaviors, it is important to look at different methods of equality and ways to have a safe, supportive, and positive relationships. Try out some of these methods in your current and future relationships and see how they work!

Trust. The idea of trust is foundation for every healthy relationship. Trust is something that controls a lot of our emotions. If we don’t trust our partner and we are extremely jealous, it will cause us to act in ways we might otherwise not. Trust can mean different things to different people, but the idea of someone being reliable and feeling safe with a person emotionally and physically is a commonly shared idea. Establishing trust between you and your partner will help you have a healthy relationship in the long run.

Honesty/Accountability. Nobody likes to be told lies, and if a relationship is built on top of lies then that can be a red flag. Communicating openly and truthfully can eliminate the stress and tension that lies can cause in relationships. For accountability, admitting and acknowledging mistakes helps greatly. It’s never easy to admit that you are wrong, but doing so will allow you and your partner to both feel better about the situation.

Negotiation/Fairness. It is important to be willing to compromise, accept changes, and seek a mutually satisfying solution to a conflict that you and your partner might have. A lack of negotiation causes an unbalanced power and control in the relationship which will cause strain. Something as simple as trading off when buying dinner picking movies can strengthen your relationship.

Independence. We all have friends and family that we want to spend time with. Even though we might be in a relationship, it is important to be independent. Being completely dependent on a partner can be a red flag, and could lead into methods of power and control. It is healthy spend time away with your partner doing things you like with people you like. It is okay to want to hang out with your friends and family.

Communication. It is key to communicate in relationships. There are many different things you should talk about. How do you want to be treated? What is the proper way to talk to each other? What do you both want and expect from the relationship? What upsets you? Having a relationship where you can honestly tell your partner how you feel and what you want will helps to establish a healthy relationship with an open line for communication.

Respect. This is something that is typically very important to people. Listening to one another, valuing each other’s opinions and beliefs is something that most people want in a relationship. It is important to ensure that your partner has respect for you because it doesn’t feel good when there isn’t any respect.

Non-Threatening Behavior.  It understandable to get angry when things don’t happen the way you want or expect them to, but it is also important to remember to promote a safe environment in your relationship. Each person should be able to feel comfortable and safe in expressing their opinions and spending time with friends/family, without worrying about threatening behavior from their partner. Something as simple as taking time to cool down during an argument can help.

If you or someone you know needs more information on healthy and unhealthy relationships the Marjaree Mason Center has a 24-hour confidential hotline that anyone can call for information and support. The number is: 559.233.HELP (4357)

- Megan Oleski, Youth Education Specialist