How To Have A Healthy Relationship

Communication

We all have a different perception of what our ideal relationship would be. As men maybe it’s a woman that caters to our every need. As women maybe it’s a man that will drop everything for you, maybe just somebody to listen to you. Well truth is there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and in every relationship there will be differences and disagreements. Often the way we deal with these differences and disagreements may become unhealthy, because it seems like it is easier to get mad at our partners than to just simply talk it out. When this happens we eventually calm down after a few minutes, but is the problem really dealt with? Most likely not and therefore the problem will reoccur because the situation was not addressed properly. The way we should handle these situations is to take a deep breath and take some time for yourself to clear your thoughts, but the most important step in correcting these issues is the communication. After disagreements it is important to address the situation with your partner and help each other understand how you felt. Things you may want to communicate with your partner to ensure a healthy relationship are things such as; your boundaries, your expectations of the relationship, how each of you expect to be treated, and what things upset you. These are important to communicate so you and your partner can be on the same page and know what to expect from each other. A relationship takes two people working together to be healthy, and we can’t expect one partner to work harder than the other, it takes shared responsibility. Examples of shared responsibilities may be trusting each other, being honest, being able to negotiate with each other’s desires, respecting each other, and being fair to one another.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries plays a substantial part in the foundation of building a healthy relationship, regardless of if you have been together for a while or are just starting to get to know each other. Boundaries are lines of acceptance and comfortability with one’s actions or desires. Let’s explore some healthy boundaries you can set.

Emotional Boundaries

Express to your partner how you wish to communicate, what are appropriate topics, and when you need time away from each other. Talk about your goals for the relationship and make sure you and your partner both want the same things.

Physical Boundaries

One of the most important physical boundaries is letting your partner know what you’re comfortable with. You are not obligated to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing and your partner should not pressure you. Communicate with your partner that you will not tolerate any physical control, and your partner cannot grab you, push you, or force you in any way.

Technology and Social Media

We live in a world that is run by social media and cell phones. Setting privacy boundaries when it comes to these things sometimes are not always easy, nor talked about. Your partner may want your cell phone password and your social media account passwords, so they can see who you have been talking to. Truth is you have a right to privacy and are not obligated to give your partner this information. Partners use this as a way of controlling your communication and it is a huge red flag if that boundary is not respected. Your partner has no right to tell you who you can or can’t talk to. If these issues are going on, address them by setting boundaries because everybody not only needs but deserves privacy.

- Anthony Vallejo, Youth Education Specialist