Obstacles for Getting Help

In high school there is a lot of pressure on us to be “with someone.” If we feel that we are in love, we might settle for situations where there could be abuse. At the time, we might not even realize that the situation is abusive. It is important to recognize some of the obstacles for getting help when you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.

Some obstacles to teens getting help might be:

·         Fear of not being believed.  It is always difficult to talk about things in life that are hurting us, and this is especially true when we are young. It can be especially difficult if someone is afraid of not being believed. Sometimes the best thing you can say to a person is that you believe them. Reassuring them that what is happening to them is not okay, and that you’re there for them can make a huge.

·         Fear of retaliation from their partner. Victims of abuse might fear that seeking help will prompt their partner to retaliate in violent and more aggressive ways.

·         Fear of getting in trouble. For teens it can be difficult to openly discuss what is going on in their lives with their parents. If they feel as though they might get in trouble for dating, it can make them reluctant to report abuse.

·         Not knowing how or where to get help. It is extremely difficult for someone to leave an abusive relationship, especially when they don’t know what resources are available for tees. There are various hotlines and advocates who are available to speak to teens, and help them leave their relationship safely.

·         Embarrassment and fear of judgement. It can be extremely embarrassing for a person to reveal that they are in an abusive relationship. This can lead them to be reluctant to reach out for help due to the fear of being judged by their peers, counselors, administrators, parents, and strangers. 

·         Not realizing that there is a problem. Teens aren’t given a guideline on how to have healthy relationship. More often than not, they just jump into a relationship and hope for the best. If an abusive relationship is their first, they might think that abuse is normal. Also, studies show that children who grow up in homes of domestic violence are much more likely to be abusers and victims in their own relationships.

These aren’t the only obstacles that may be present, but these are some of the most common ones. If a friend comes to you, keep these obstacles in mind!

If you or someone you know needs help contact the Marjaree Mason Centers 24/7 confidential hotline at 559.233.HELP or the national domestic violence hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE

- Megan Oleski, Youth Education Specialist